This isn't a story for social media. This is your real life, and you have to live it.
A conversation with Andi Bitay on building sustainably, finding peace in transition, and the courage to stop performing.
A few months ago I discovered Andi Bitay, Visibility mentor & Substack coach, and immediately knew I wanted to be in her orbit and learn from her. She was sharing massive value from such a genuine place and I thought: this woman is doing it on her terms and showing others what’s possible when they honor their voice and gifts, authentically. I asked her questions that many founders and those in big life transitions are asking themselves everyday. Her responses had me nodding in agreement, in perfect alignment with what I coach others to find within themselves.
I hope our conversation inspires you to trust your timing and be gentle with yourself during times of transition. This is a piece I will come back to again and again, especially on the days I wonder if choosing entrepreneurship was my craziest idea yet!
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Ashley: You describe being in a major reset — not a dramatic life upheaval, but something more internal and harder to name. How do you know when you’re in a transition versus just going through a hard season?
Andi: At first, I thought it was just a hard season or burnout, something to endure until it passed. But it didn’t. When I treated it as a problem, I tried to hide it, and even my friends couldn’t understand what was wrong.
Everything changed when I stopped looking at it as a crisis and started seeing it as a transition. I realized there was nothing wrong with me; I was just moving toward someone I hadn’t met yet. That’s the difference: a hard season is about survival, but a reset is about evolution. Once I accepted that I was changing, it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
You’ve worked with over 100 creators on Substack. What’s the biggest mistake you see writers make when they’re trying to figure out their niche or voice?
Andi: The biggest mistake is trying to figure it all out before you’ve written enough. Many creators treat finding their niche or voice like a puzzle they have to solve analytically, rather than through practice. But sitting between four walls and guessing is just fantasizing.
A niche isn’t a static category; it’s a living combination of your topics, your unique perspective, and your personal story. You can’t think your way into it—you have to write your way into it. The same goes for your voice: you don’t ‘find’ it, you unearth it.
The problem is, many creators can’t see themselves clearly because they are constantly comparing themselves to others, which warps their authenticity. My absolute favorite part of my work is bringing these creators back to themselves and helping them strip away the noise and showing them the incredible, unique strengths they already possess.
Ashley: When you’re in that in-between space — you’ve left something behind but haven’t arrived yet — how do you keep building? How do you show up for your work when the vision isn’t fully clear, especially if part of you feels different from your original brand identity?
Andi: That’s a hard question, and it’s not easy to answer. By nature, I’m someone who constantly reflects, trying to understand myself and the world, but self-awareness doesn’t shield you from the struggle.
The reality is, we all have bills to pay. Running a business or being a creator isn’t always this light, romantic journey of self-expression that people imagine. Sometimes it’s just work. Even if you don’t fully feel aligned with your brand anymore, you still have to show up, do the job, and make the shift in tiny steps.
You have to be patient and learn to let things go. I look at it like Lego: if I take two red bricks out of a wall, I make room for two blue ones. Slowly, the whole wall becomes blue.
We want to rush everything, dreaming of overnight success and dramatic changes like in the movies. But life isn’t like that. Ever since I allowed myself to slowly figure out who I am in my forties, I’ve been so much more at peace.
Ashley: I work with women to help them understand and apply their Human Design, which is really about returning to who you already are rather than becoming someone new. Does that resonate with how you see reinvention — less about building a new identity and more about excavating the original one?
Andi: I absolutely love Human Design, it’s actually one of my favorite topics! Learning about it changed so much for me; it finally helped me truly understand and accept myself. It didn’t give me a brand new direction, but exactly like you said, it allowed me to just embrace who I am and shape my business around that.
It also changed how I work with my clients. I realized that if a collaboration doesn’t start smoothly, it doesn’t mean it’s a failure. It usually just means they need a different approach because of their unique Human Design. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a professional in this field, I’m just a very enthusiastic observer!
Ashley: Substack has become your business. At what point did it shift from a creative outlet to something you could actually build a livelihood around and what made that shift possible?
Andi: I’ve always worked in media and adapted to new trends. I started in TV and print magazines 20 years ago, then successfully moved to online journalism, then social media, and now I went from being an Instagram consultant to a Substack coach. You have to feel the rhythm and not cling to something that is on its way out. I’m not saying Instagram is dying, but it doesn’t hold the same position it did a few years ago.
I started my Substack out of pure passion because it reminded me of a blog I used to love writing. But at first, I tried too hard. I wanted to prove myself and build a new career in English, which caused a lot of detours. It took time to figure out what I love writing about and what actually attracts readers.
The turning point was funny: one of my articles suddenly went viral and reached thousands of readers. I was standing there thinking, ‘Oh my god, I don’t even have an offer to show them!’ I quickly put together a landing page for an Audit, linked it at the end of the article, and applications started rolling in. After that initial boom, I managed to stabilize things and turn a one-time success into a sustainable business that I absolutely love.
Ashley: You said working with creators taught you the importance of finding your own path. What do you think gets in the way of writers actually doing that, especially women who are still navigating all the other roles they’re holding?
Andi: Back in university, I wrote my thesis on feminist writers. Even then, I was fascinated by how different they all were, yet how deeply unique and wonderful each of their voices was. Maybe back then, it was harder for them to constantly compare themselves to one another…
Today, we have become prisoners of optimization and templates. There is an algorithm we feel we must satisfy, and whenever a new update comes out, everyone moves toward it like puppets. I find that deeply sad. As women, I think it is especially important to maintain critical thinking, healthy self-esteem, and the courage to show who we really are. As long as we are constantly trying to please others, we can never be the main characters in our own lives.
What I found on Substack is a community of women that truly amazes me. I am so grateful to be part of such a diverse and supportive space. Working and collaborating with them has shown me that our goal shouldn’t be to blend in and become identical. It should be to complement each other and lift one another up.
Ashley: You’re clear that this isn’t a ‘find yourself on a sabbatical’ story. You’re a mom, you need two incomes, and you show up consistently for your community here. What does that actually look like day to day? How do you hold the weight of motherhood while still building something that’s yours?
Andi: My days are pretty boring! I like to wake up early and spend one or two hours writing, planning, and working on my business while my family is still asleep. Then the chaos begins—getting ready, heading to school. But that’s actually better than it sounds; I love walking and talking with my son in the morning. When I get home, my husband leaves for work, and I start my workday from home.
Around noon, I take a break to work out, go for a walk, or just do some grocery shopping. Lately, I’ve made these strictly podcast-free zones so I can actually hear my own thoughts. After that, it’s one more round of work at my desk until it’s time to pick up my son. We love to walk around the neighborhood, go to the park, or get ice cream after school. Once we get home, it’s the usual routine: housework, cooking, tidying up, and homework.
One thing I am very strict about is making time to be alone in silence every single day. My Human Design profile is 6/2, and that ‘2’ is the Hermit. I don’t just like solitude, I physically and mentally need it to survive.
Ashley: If someone is reading this right now feeling like they’re in their own reset — still showing up, still doing the work, but unsure where it’s all leading — what’s the one thing you’d want them to hear?
Andi: Be patient and gentle with yourself. This isn’t a story for social media; this is your real life, and you have to live it. If you pay attention, you are already moving in the right direction, and the right opportunities will find you. You just have to make room for them.
I’m so grateful to Andi Bitay for sharing her wisdom. Check out her page if you want to feel like you just sat down on your favorite founders’ front porch swing for the exact conversation you needed.
And if you’re looking for more support, I coach women to listen to their bodies, trust themselves deeply, and stop outsourcing their worth.
Whether you’re starting a business, changing careers, raising a family, or stepping into a new chapter, I support you with the tools and community to create a life that feels meaningful, aligned, and fully your own.
There’s space for you here.
xo,
Ashley